The thing with disappointment is that you just have to swallow and deal with it. I think the actual swallow is pretty important to this process. Like a pause. A stand on the one foot. The stillness. The re-evaluation- once again- after all this time, seeing for sure that your plans were for naught. 
Poppy the young Hereford sow is in full blown heat. Not pregnant at all. I cannot ignore it. I am disappointed. Actually very disappointed – I really thought that getting a boar was a good idea. He bred her in three different cycles. I saw this. He was vigorous, she was willing. Then while I was away she must have cycled again. But no issue. And we all know that she is fertile. Lets hope that Manu is breeding the two gilts he has in there with him at the moment (which is why I cannot start Poppy all over again – there would be no room at the inn). 
I could just spit. I have so many people wanting to buy her piglets. And every one of these errors takes months to play out. But there you are. Re-balance Cecilia. Re-balance. Beware the dangers of smugness.
And the eggs we bought at the Bantam Swap are going rotten, one after the other we are removing rotten eggs from the incubator. The smell is evil.
Swallow. One foot up. Watch. Find your balance. Be still. Place the foot down and continue. Find the balance – even when you want to Spit with disappointment. 
But this is not what I want to focus on. Inaki left today. He has been a superb member of the farm , a stunning man and has achieved so much in his short four weeks here. I will miss him. He will leave a legacy of tremendous laughter and Basque food and chickens and a brilliant start on the gardens. And a real life Mountain of compost. And some really eloquent Spanish curse words as there are no swear words in Basque.
Occasionally I find real friends amongst my woofing guest workers. Inaki is such a friend.
Aren’t written words funny. How we collect and arrange and rearrange letters that look like sticks and dots and crosses and roundy things to imitate sounds transferred to a page and other people can make sense of those sticks and dots and crosses and roundy things and pronounce the sounds and understand. And we have to get the spelling right or the people will not understand what it is we mean to say. This code we use to communicate. These squiggles and crosses that we cannot do without. This strange thing called writing. As arrogant as it is humble. And so powerful. So lasting.
Talking of squiggles and crosses I must write up the board. After waving a miserable farewell to Inaki we are getting straight back to work. And Conor is roaring through his list of work. Starting with cookies. My breakfast coookies.
I hope you have a lovely day. Let’s not talk about Poppy and rotten eggs and waving goodbye to souls who matter. What are YOU up to today. Anything interesting?
Love celi
c
The Kitchen's Garden 
44 responses to “I don’t know the title today”
How strange, we had the same sunset yesterday, waaaaay over here in Ireland.
Sorry about Poppy!
I too needed to take a deep breath today. Hubby’s job relocated us to the DFW area 4 months ago. We sold our house in Illinois and have been looking for a house in the booming housing market down here. We put an offer in on a house last week and the offer was accepted. This week we got the home inspection done and the inspector suggested we have a roofing company come look at the roof. End result – the roof needed to be replaced because of hail damage. The seller refused to submit a claim to insurance to have the roof replaced, so today we discontinued our pursuit of the house. Now we start all over.
This is a tough process. Lots of houses being built and lots of houses on the market, but only a handful meet our criteria and it’s a race to get an offer in and accepted before a better offer is made. More deep breaths for my first world problems 🙂
Your photos are just stunning!
Linda
I had a midwife’s appointment today and was told that, if I were to go into labor from this point on, they wouldn’t do anything to stop it. It’s hard to believe I’m already at that point! This is baby #2, and for some reason it’s much harder to believe there’s really a real baby in there again.
In “homesteading” news, I’ve let a terrible number of eggs pile up — I’m afraid to count now; it must be over six dozen. (From five hens!) But I’ve got everything to make a bunch of quiches for the freezer, as well as two big pans of brownies. So, if nothing else, there will be plenty of quiche and brownies to survive on after the baby arrives. I know my toddler daughter would be pleased with that diet!
Farm animals can be so frustrating sometimes. I hope things look up for you soon with the piggies.
lovely sunset
I tried twice before much early today to post a comment with NO SUCH LUCK. UGH
Just keeping it real that farming is not for the faint of heart! The sunset photos are lovely.
I think today you are allowed to say “joder”…..a lot 😕
hee hee – you just cannot rush these things “Grandma wannabe” hee hee…I agree with Ikoepflel – Farmin is not for the faint of heart – but the last word is key – HEART – you must have it in your heart or it will never work. Patience, time, (stop peeking into the pens to see if she got lucky – hee hee) and it will all be good!! May be you just need to step back (or sit in a nice porch chair) and take stock of what you do have showing up right now? We have tons of newbies – plants and animals. Nature knows what she’s doing (most days LOL).
Bugger… about Poppy but time will tell with Molly & Tahiti.
We’ve been doing a bit of sucking it up here too… we’ve had to put our holiday at home on hold to attend to house maintenance we’d hope would wait a while. The G.O. has been digging & laying bricks under the house -restumping, a horrible job- and I have been washing the whole house inside, surfaces, curtains, etc with clove oil to combat a mould attack… our sub-tropic summer & autumn has been very warm & damp.
But also at the end of each day, there are lovely sunsets and compensations of a simple & good life in the country-coastal hinterland.
However, it is ANZAC Day on Monday, so we have given ourselves a long weekend, and it feels glorious to have 3 x R&R days ahead of us ☺
Your words describing Inaki make me very happy, it’s such a good thing to make real connections with people.
The Basques may not have a suitable curse, but the Italians do: Porca Miseria! I cannot imagine why Poppy has failed to take, all your creatures have the healthiest, happiest life of any animals I know, but sometimes Nature does know her stuff. I’d like to sit you down, Miss C, and give you a big cup of tea and a large slice of warm, freshly baked lemon syrup drizzle cake. It’s like the sun coming out in your mouth. And I also want to thank you for the simply beautiful arrangements of squiggles, crosses, sticks and roundy things which bring us all so much pleasure every day.
Hear, hear!!! Much love, Your Gayle
I heard someone say yesterday ‘let’s not mourn the loss but celebrate what we had’. We celebrate friends like Inaki. I have thought many times about the importance of our squiggles and crosses arrangements, quite remarkable and no wonder they are ever evolving. Hugs to you. xx
We had a beautiful day here, surprising, as it was forecast to be rainy. I enjoyed the company of my goats and did more spring/Passover cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. We are not very religious, but I like a cleaner and more organized house to be ready for the holiday. It just makes me feel good. And now we are having a beautiful run up to sundown, but nothing as gorgeous as in your photo.
I certainly understand the breeding predicament you are in. We had a breeding mess last autumn and then lost a baby goat this spring, to what, we do not know yet. I am taking my deep breaths, and loving the life that I do have around me. I am glad that you made a good connection with Inaki. It’s always difficult to say goodbye to those people, but he will remain in your life, I am sure. You have a special talent for making very beautiful connections. It’s all good :*)
work was really busy today, then my mother called all upset about some things that I am not responsible for. It was very hard to be sweet and patient but I was. The day has improved. Cat and dog “helped” me get the sheets off the bed by jumping on it and chasing under the sheets. Then seeing your great photos which always brighten the day. Sorry about the things you have had to deal with today. Maybe you will want to bake something. That is what I will be doing!