The Rescue Piglets are still not thriving. In fact it has become more and more evident that at least two of them are carrying hidden injuries as a result of the attack by their mother. Both have back problems to go with the bites. So I don’t believe that these two will get through. The rest are still on the 50/50 list. Still needing to be woken up to feed and still only drinking a little and still wobbly on their feet.
I wear special shoes for their pen, and gloves when handling them, I suspect that they have some kind of invisible scours as they are always a bit damp in behind so the Vet gave me some medicine for that.
But we are on Day Five now and that is a point in their favour.
I said to John if these little piglets do not survive I quit. Farming is too hard – there is too much death and fighting to survive. And if I do not grow my own meat I can be a vegetarian which sounds perfectly lovely at the moment.
But most of that is the tired talking.
I have the Staggers too.
We had rain yesterday afternoon and the cows are knee deep in mud. You can imagine the clean up for milking.
Interestingly I am always more awake in the morning though – even when my alarm gently prods me awake every two hours right through the night and I am already walking down the garden path before my eyes are even fully open. At four in the morning I know I will not manage a day farming and by seven I am all business as usual. 
I hope you have a good day. Sorry to be so late but business as usual is a lot of busy-ness at the moment. Good busy though – nothing I can’t handle. In fact I could do it all with ease if I had someone who ran the kitchen, processed the food and managed the house for me. Then being a farmer would be pretty easy really!
Much love
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
59 responses to “Two Steps Back”
Bugger. Hang in there mate… in my best Aussie accent 💜
No, even if the piglets do not survive, that is not the end of the farmy . . . that would be the straw that broke the camel ‘s back and you know that is illogical! Any decision re future, one way or the other, will be made when fully slept and of normal energy and mindset: some things work, others do not . . . you have to know the difference and what your choices and passions are . . . lots of love . . .
maybe my choices and passions are not about watching little animals die time after time..
Only you and your family do know and will know what is right for you: I truly feel presumptuous even putting this much down in words . . . I am just sure that in our own faulty ways, what is said in this column is said in caring by each and every one of us . . .
Oh Celi, I am so sad for you, I know the heat and humidity and wet and mud feels like it’s all conspiring against you but just take a minute to concentrate on Molly and her brood, healthy lively pigs and and attentive mother. When it feels like your looking up from the bottom sometimes it helps to concentrate on a success story and realize it isn’t ALL terrible. Of course you have to realize this is coming from a real coward who BUYS her meat because she can’t face sending anyone to freezer camp! Like everyone says, hang in there, a day with sun and low humidity and a cooling breeze will do wonders too and that’s coming from a chronic insomniac who is continually sleep deprived. Your efforts with Tahiti’s babies will not be in vain, whatever the outcome.
I was so worried when a post didn’t come in yesterday. I echo all the comments above, maybe next summer consider a kitchen only wwoofer. Hang in there. Laura
That is all so tough. You have admirable resilience
Hugs to you, the piglets and to the farm . . . . it is a life I know I couldn’t do and so am in awe of you everyday. If you do hang in there – amazing, but if you decide to try a different life then that’s fine too. Being vegetarian is great and you will still get to keep some animals if you do take that route. Good luck x
I don’t eat any meat I do not grow but if I were not to farm I would not have animals either – to keep them as pets would be so terribly expensive, as it is they only just pay their way. Though of course Tima and Tane and Sheila are pets, just having those three sounds like a holiday!! c
Poor girl. If I could I’d come right over and give you a hug and then send you out of the kitchen and take over. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I have been running for the past two day, hubby holding the farm and I have been getting ready and then hosting a full day of homestead related workshops and get together.. so I am behind in my reading..
so on the most recent post, I understand why you hit the point that it was the right choice and I think to be honest, that you will find it easier to handle the remaining piglets, and I pleased to hear that some of them are going good on their own now! It will be a calming effect on your mind to see those strong piglets that will remind you why you had so many sleepless nights and the truth is, that those cry’s of the weakest when you can NOT change it.. they pull on the mind, the heart and they put a punch in our guts.
Sometimes, after we work as hard as we can and when we reach that moment of knowing that its time to let them go.. we grieve when it happens, but the next time we walk in, while we will carry the memory, its the sight and sounds of the healthier or the ones that are improving that will help give us strength to put that foot one after another in front of ourselves.
Sleep is something that can not be over rated, lack of it in a solid mass can and will wear you down, moment by moment, the good part is that you can do something by route but then you worry that you miss something..
Farming, equal parts work, awe, reward, and heartbreak.. it will run you though the wringer.. wishing you the best Miss C!
That’s the trick…the farm wife! She makes everything else tick right along.
Linda
You score high with me on being a farmer! Can that rooster drive?? I adore that photo. Everything has a purpose 🙂
I wish I was there to help you! And I can only imagine the frustration with these babies. You’ll get their .. Hugs