When my mother was ‘feeling bloody’ she meant feeling bloody determined.
Written earlier in the morning:
“Well, my usual driver is unable to drive the trailer for me today so I am going to have to Man Up and hook up the stock trailer and deliver my hog myself. I am trying to feel bloody about it.
I have driven the stock trailer around the block often enough so it really is only about 50 times that, then 50 times that home again. So even though I find the whole idea scary – Fear is the only thing bothering me. And it is irrational. Fear f driving a truck and stock trailer is irrational.
Evidently, I just drive the truck and the trailer follows me.
And once I have done it once I don’t need help again. That is good, right. I can do it all by myself.
Later: I wrote the above before I launched off into the dark driving the big truck and towing the big trailer with the big sold hog inside. It was a two hour round trip: returning through a misty dawn. But I did it. And as I drove back up my drive at the end of my journey, I realised that I know NO MORE about driving now than I did five years ago. I could have been driving my animals around myself for years! But fear (and that was all it was) made me overly cautious and had me begging for help.
Once I hit home I backed the trailer back up to the gate, milked the cows and fed the pigs and chickens and now I am filling all the water barrels and preparing for the days work.
Coffee first though. It is only 9.30am and time for COFFEE!
I know it is a Nike slogan but FEAR REALLY IS MY ENEMY.
Right – I am off out to shift the hose then I will get on with that coffee.
Monday 10/09 10% / 0 in
Generally sunny despite a few afternoon clouds. High around 80F. Winds light and variable.
Monday Night 10/09 30% / 0.02 in
Mostly cloudy skies with a few showers late. Low 58F. Winds NE at 5 to 10 mph. Chance of rain 30%.
6:58 am 6:21 pm
Waning Gibbous, 77% visible 9:29 pm 11:09 am