I learnt an awful lot at the Press Publish Conference in Portland on the weekend. I am going to share as much as I can with you over the next week. As usual these things will weave themselves in and out of the fabric of our farmy pages. Much like this post. (And first I would like to thank you for the incredible comments on the Portland Page. Those comments underline once again what a wonderful collective we are – a team of goodness and care. The Fellowship).
This morning though I need to answer a question that a girl asked of the Publishing Panel on Saturday afternoon at the Press Publish conference.
“How long did it take you to find your voice?” she asked the Panel. Her speaking voice was hesitant. She was a small woman, dove grey, lightly scented. I watched her, she had been taking big breaths to lead up to that question causing a flush in her face. She blinked slowly and swallowed as she handed back the microphone. I knew exactly what to say to her and drawing my own breath I turned for my own microphone but someone else already had it. And the editor speaker spoke and the lovely woman who was a merchant banker spoke and the published authors spoke and then I felt that maybe enough had been spoken. So I hesitated and the moment had gone. I was feeling a little overwhelmed by the brightness of the panel. I dimmed and the girl slowly faded back against the wall and I watched her as the questions rolled on and I missed my chance.
I wished I had just taken the microphone and spoken. I had been intimidated and am now haunted by this girl. So here I am back with my own Fellowship Family. I know that this young woman will probably not be reading (though we have many new readers who I hope will introduce themselves in the Join Us page). But here is my answer anyway.
“You have already found your voice. Do not hesitate to use it. Each voice is individual and perfect for who you are and where you are now – to hide it and dress it up until it sounds like every other voice will never work. You have your voice already. You have not lost it and so you do not need to begin a journey to find it. You have the words and the rhythm and the sound track. It is already there changing and moving with your own breath. You just have to put your fingers on the keys and write this moment down.
Here is what I do to keep my writing honest – I write exactly how I speak. In fact I call it Writing Out Loud. I say the words in my head as I bash away at the keys. (It is exactly the opposite of reading when we do not say the words at all – we simply read.) Then, when the words are on the screen, I go back and edit out all the repeats and extraneous words. I fix the spelling and grammar. I chuck out at least half of what I have written. I move stuff about so it is simple and makes sense but that is all. Always reading the sentences aloud in my head. It is a bit like taking a picture then running it through Photo Shop to push the contrast and clarify the edges, bring the colour back in and add a bit of noise. But it is always the picture I took. Write. Your voice is there. Just write as you speak.”
I hope the girl will nod and smile and unbite her lips then lift her fingers and just write. 
Timatanga Moana and Tane Mahuta were making a lot of noise yesterday afternoon. They are not always beautiful are they. I should have got the tape recorder out for you but it is not a gentle sound by any means. Maybe tomorrow.
Interesting dates on the farm blackboard.
Good morning. Chickens take 21 days to hatch. Poppy will take 21 days to come back into heat. Poppy was possibly,( maybe, fingers crossed) bred on March 11. The eggs are in a safe place and should start hatching this weekend. And Poppy is showing no obvious signs of coming back into heat. Yet. I am hanging on Tenterhooks.
I hope you have a lovely day. I hope you use your voices.
Your friend on the farm
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
74 responses to “Did you Find Your Voice?”
I loved what you said here about finding your voice… sometimes the tiniest bit of encouragement is all someone needs. I hope that woman is reading. All of our voices are special… and what a lovely choir we are when we meet to sing about our lives!
Ah The Choir! Yes! c
It’s horrid when something plays on your mind, when you have lost a chance to say or do something. Tima looks like she’s whistling a jaunty tune! x
I was thinking the same thing about Tima! Or she was saying “yooo hooo, Miss C. Over here for a scratch please.: 🙂
I totally agree with you Celie, about talking in your head and by passing your mouth. I pick one person and talk from my heart through my fingers to that one person. It seems to work, Believing in what you do does help and like you, I try to end each post on a positive note. You are such an inspiration to all of us!
SO well-said re: voice. What you have is unique and good enough as it is.
And I often talk out loud as I type… And if I go back and re-read my paper journals aloud I get lost in them for at least an hour… Reading aloud is vital in every case, I think. The only way to really know.
Though you were unable to answer that panel question, you have here. We always hear your voice and value it beyond measure.
I write the same way, from the voice and dialog in my head, and one of the great things about starting a blog was finding that voice. Such wise words, miss c. What cute piggy pics today and love the pursed lips of Tima and the little toofies of Tane. Also loved hearing you talk during the conference about how TonTon ends up in so many pictures…and there he is! Looks like the weather has finally turned to Spring for you and I hope today is the same.
Your honesty and vulnerability on this blog are so refreshing and more rare than you know–kind of the opposite of the “selfie stick.” You include and nurture us all in your journey, because it’s universal. (And your animals are utterly fascinating, truly a little family. I don’t know how you come up with their names but they are so perfect.)
Ci, that’s the best explanation of “voice” I’ve ever heard. The most useful. Sometimes I think the whole obsession with “voice” is passive aggressive intimidation of those who would be authors. Writing is a bit like learning computers: just poke around and try stuff until it feels right – you really can’t break anything and it can always be rebooted. A kid taught me that in the early days of computers..a little kid – one others called a troublemaker and non achiever – I think he was miles ahead of most in many ways. You just have to start.
Just write, it’s there. (Hopefully she’s found the farmy. She’d be right at home here.)
I think it takes a little while to find your voice when writing a blog, but you are right, it has to sound like you. If you try something else it just sounds fake.
Celi ~ I love today’s topic!! Voice! our voice ~ anyone’s voice! Miss Kitty found her voice! TonTon found his voice with the cows! Godot found his! and for sure Sheila has her voice!! Nanny Boo found his voice! and Queen Tima found her voice! Tane still hunting for his manliness!!! and now the Kids sure found their voices!! So very true for must of us in this life ~ we all have a voice in different ways ~ some really stand on the stage of life and their voices reach a lot of people and others have a strong voice in such a quiet manner! But there’s nothing like the voice of the farm!! I’m so thankful I was raised on the farm!! Great subject Celi!!!
Well said, Celi! Well said.
Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com
https://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com/sherlock-boomer
Beautiful, thoughtful insight as always C. And I have a feeling that the young woman read today and found the very best answer to her question yet.
Oh miss C. and we are always learning with you. First thing I had to go check on Oxford Dictionaries because I thought the proper form was “learned” but now I know better.
Secondly for sure that girl will be reading you and feeling very at home here in the Fellowship. I so related to your “missed moment”, it’ s a constant in my life either because I’m too slow coming up with answer or waiting for everyone else to talk first careful of not stepping ahead of someone else.
And finally I have this ongoing dialogues with myself all day long while going around doing stuff and thinking that I would like to write some down but then if and when I finally sit to do it, it’s all gone somewhere ….never to be found again.Well maybe someday it will find its way into writing.
Thank you so much for another very interesting post and yes your pigs are beautiful and still cute even when not looking so pretty.Isabel
You do have a clear and authentic voice, Celi, and it is always a warm hug. I hope the woman you speak of came away from Portland with a fresh perspective and a deeper sense of her own strength. I also hope soon to see some little chicks popping from those Easter eggs! 🙂
Sometimes I think the subtext to that question is “How do I get people to LISTEN to my voice?” That’s a different and far more difficult question to answer.
I dreamed I was on the farmy last night and feeding Sheila. There were eggs involved. She was pleased.