I care what you think

You know how people say _(and I hear this all the time) Oh! (whoosh of breath)  “I don’t care what people think! I just am what I am – etc and etc – take it or leave it, rinse and repeat.. blah, blah, blah”. I tilt my head and look carefully when I hear this. Bravado is so transparent.

pig in mud

But I think we ALL care what our loved ones think, I do,I will be honest – I care what you think and this is a good thing, I say to my children – if you cannot sit down and tell me what you have done then think about it again.  You need to care what I think.  You need to care enough about yourself to care what I think.  Because I care about you.

pig in mud

Oh, I don’t mean the Fashion Police and the PC People and the Haters and Mean Spirited Do Gooders.  That is shallow stuff. Who cares what THEY think.  I mean us. US.  The good people in your life.  The real ones. Now, this does not mean that I write so you can approve of my writing or agree with what I think. No,  no, not that.


I mean,  that if you love someone or respect someone or appreciate someone, it is OK to care about what they think and to improve and raise your game – and extend yourself so you can think better of yourself and when they smile and nod – it is Ok to Smile BIG and nod back BIG and love that you care what they think.

I do care what you think. Because you are good.  I care what good people think.

Does that make sense?


I hope you have a lovely day. This is my mantra, my wish and my promise. That we all have lovely moments in our days. And that we care.

Love your friend on the farm.  Alphonsus sends his love – (Federico just told me his grandfather’s name was Alphonsus.. wheels within wheels).

Love, love,


134 Comments on “I care what you think

  1. It makes absolutely perfect sense – and it is indeed important to me to know what the people I love and care about think…it may be different to what I’m thinking but that’s mostly fine!

  2. Of course it makes sense. We value the people we love, and we value their good opinion of us. i want to be worthy of the good people in my life.
    I think my angel went walkabout today (well, this IS Australia after all). He let me fall asleep in the doctor’s waiting room. Perhaps Alphonsus breezed by and kept an eye on me. He’s an angel, he can be in two places at once.
    Now, I want the opinion of all of you out there, whose opinion I value. What does everyone think about homeopathic medicine? I so badly want to find an alternative to taking Class A drugs every day just so I can hobble around. Weaning myself painfully off those and taking something gentler and less toxic. Please can I ask for opinions and suggestions?

    • I think weaning yourself off of the Class A drugs is a really good idea. Just be very careful, and do your research first so you know what gentler methods would help you, and the alternatives to stopping the medications you have been taking. Seeing a homeopathic doctor to plan would be a good idea. xo

      • I agree. I don’t plan to stop the narcotics suddenly, because the withdrawal would be horrendous, but I need a viable alternative, and conventional medicine isn’t offering that. I’ve always been very sceptical about homeopathic efficacy, so I’d love to hear from anyone who has benefited.

        • Kate: if you have needed to use narcotics to stop the pain I am afraid homeopathy may not be at all helpful. If you look up all the available real medical information on the Net including Wikipedia, WebMD etc you will see there is no reason for it to work except in a placebo fashion: no medical reason whatsoever. I would not go and see anyone practicing homeopathy but I would certainly find the best person available and fully trained in Natural Therapies: there are many supplements beginning with willow bark, turmeric etc etc etc which may be of help. I have had debilitating severe back pain for decades from a genetically degenerating spine: for me the very, very best treatment is meditation about 3/4 hour every day. Once one learns the techniques I have absolutely painfree hours afterwards. This combined with walking after and a combo of supplements which suit me allows me to live a relatively mobile life. Good luck! [and you know I have finished med school . . .]

          • That has been my worry, I admit. But so many people swear by it, just as they swear by a whole rainbow of other therapies and modes of treatment. Homeopathy seems an innocuous place to start, but will the effect be strong and swift enough to let me function?

        • My mother has used homeopathy for thirty years and used it with all of her children. I believe that there is a time and place for conventional and alternative medicine. I have benefited from homeopathy for illnesses (for example, a homeopath once gave me doses of Rhus Tox for my knee which had been swollen for months and it brought the swelling right down!) and I used homeopathy with my horse when she had a traumatic injury. Also, my sister uses homeopathy with her little ones — as an example, her four-year-old got conjunctivitis this week and her eye was swollen shut. After giving her the right homeopathic remedy, the eye improved rapidly. My sister’s husband is a doctor and he was amazed by how quickly it got better! So I don’t doubt that homeopathy works, as long as you have the right remedy.

          However, it’s important to get advice from a good homeopath. There are remedies for basic ailments (bruises, coughs, colds etc), but professional advice is best for more complex cases as homeopathy works on a case-by-case level, i.e., a remedy that suits one individual may not suit another. A good homeopath will take a detailed case history and then prescribe remedies based on the individual. All the best! 🙂

          • Thank you! I do plan, if I go ahead with trying it, to have a proper consultation, have a history taken and plan a strategy for dealing with the pain and its associated causes and effects.

            • Be careful and look for double-blind studies. You should be able to find these, even if they are on small populations. Also research some literature at your library. I have a book called “Prescription for Nutritional Healing” by Phyllis A. Balch. Some remedies (the one for rosacea) work marvelously for me. Others, not so much. I don’t know why you’ve been taking pain killers, but you could also look into The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook by Clair Davies. This thing is wizard, but it’s for soft tissue pain. The best answer is a physician skilled in traditional and alternative medicine, but they are few and far between. You could also look into acupuncture if you haven’t already.

              • Unfortunately, my pain is from arthritis, very bad in my hip, but widespread, from my neck to my toes… I do plan to research everything pretty carefully; I have only one body, and I’ve got to live in it for the rest of my life, so I feel caution is indicated! Thank you for your suggestions. I may have to give acupuncture another go; it didn’t work so well for another issue some years ago, but this is different.

    • Kate, I discovered Golden Paste this year, after a very painful winter. It’s consists of organic turmeric, coconut oil (or olive or palm oil), black pepper, and water. It’s working for me.There is a FB group with lots of info. I have a little experience with homeopathic remedies but have never gone for a consultation, just used arnica and a couple of others on my own. 😊

      • I never heard of the Tumeric Golden paste before so did an online search. Plenty of info about it, they say it is suitable for humans, dogs and horses! But there was a warning from a commenter:

        “Please don’t feed turmeric if your animal has a blood clotting disorder such as IMT as turmeric thins the blood, as i found out to the cost of my Pointer. After going on turmeric her platelet count fell dramatically and it was attributed to being fed turmeric.”

        Glad I read that. I am on meds to prevrent clotting, so I may give this one a miss!

        Always do research before trying any new remedy.

      • what is the name of the site, “Golden Paste,” thanks so much
        I do both, traditional and non. I take the rescue remedy after shock and trauma, but I also have a plastic heart valve, from birth defect, they discovered this when I was 52. I take traditional meds for it. I think everything factors in, and I can say this at 76; spirituality, love, friends, courage, dark lows before solutions; everything plus traditional and non traditional. We are a work in progress on all levels. Best to everyone, esther aka sorrygnat

    • First…I applaud your direction. Second…I have used homeopathic medicines for decades & have never been in doubt as to their effectiveness. They are subtle, sometimes very subtle, so I have to remember to quiet myself down to allow the healing to come through. Having said all this, I have never had to use homeopathic medicine for what you want to do… everyone does it differently (this you know)….and beginning a dialogue with all of us is the best way to start. As Elizabeth Gilbert likes to say, “Onward!”

      • It strikes me that the Fellowship has a great deal of collective wisdom to offer, so what better place to start (thanks for the use of your Coffee Lounge, Miss C!). I suppose my worry is that what I’m dealing with is Big Pain, and perhaps the homeopathic medicine will work too slowly or imperceptibly for me to tolerate the pain while I wait for it to work. But I hate being dependent on these things…

        • Kate- just an idea – recently there have been stories about training the brain to cope with pain. Search through the ABC radio or Radio National web sites. Joy

          • Kate, I get thru migraines with a combination of meditation and bio feedback. That might be the worst pain I suffer, but having just gone thru radiation therapy and the panic that comes form a diagnosis, I can tell you that the most important thing has become organically healing from within. This includes building NRF2 activators. Those are the cells in your own body which combat all autoimmune diseases and repair cells. That includes taking copious amounts of Turmeric and vitamin D. I’ve joined a naturopathic/traditional medicine wellness centre, and, since my parents are Dr.s, I have a and have whole load of other Dr.s involved in my health and loads of info to share should you need it. Just send me a note and I’ll be happy to share everything I know. (But give me this weekend to get the art in the garden show done…gulp) 😀

            • Dear Veronica, I worked for an Activator Chiropractor for 4 years and I picked his brain. “Can you do anything for migraines?” Him: “Piece o’ cake.” Go to http://www.activator.com and click on “Find a doctor”. Good luck and good wishes. Gayle.

            • I’m so sorry to hear about a diagnosis that needs radiotherapy. I wish you a full and speedy recovery. Having gone through the whole breast cancer experience alone three years ago, I’m only too aware of the pain and terror and sheer bloody fatigue involved in this sort of treatment. It takes time to integrate the diagnosis, time to accept the changes treatment wreaks on your body, and time to realise you’re through the dark night of the soul and back out the other side. I would be interested to hear about anything you think is relevant, since you’ve already done so much research! And of course, good luck with the Art in the Garden show! (o) Kate xx

          • I’ll certainly take a look. I just hope my dopey brain is capable of being trained! Sorry to take so long replying; there have been so many helpful responses and I accidentally missed yours. Thank you for taking the trouble to pass on the idea. 🙂

        • I am glad you asked the question here. The Fellowship does have lots of knowledge and that at least gives you some options. But Big Pain. That is such a bastard. I wish we could lift it from you if only for a small respite. Maybe if you were to search for something that softened the side effects of the medications you have to take? Or worked in conjunction with your medications. But you are very good at using a holistic approach. How I wish I could take that pain away for you.. you are a stunning woman and so brave and we just love having you as part of our Fellowship. And yes, darling girl, Alphonsus is known for being in two places at once. My Father has him scout for parking spaces every now and then in New Zealand. Maybe he stopped in on his way home.. Much love.. keep us up to date.. we want to know.. love Your friend .. celi

          • One day, I’ll get my hip replacement, which will help a lot, but meanwhile, there’s arthritis everywhere… Ella Dee has sent me the most amazing Aspirin & Arnica cream, which works so amazingly on hands and feet I’m recommending it to everyone, but it doesn’t seem to get anywhere near the hip pain. I don’t think there’s anything that will prevent the sleepiness from the drugs, but it’s more that they are so very addictive, and I’m dependent on them… I’ve had some great feedback from the Fellowship, lots of links to follow and ideas to explore, so thank you for providing the forum for that. And tell Alphonsus thank you… K xxxx

            • Dear Kate, why are you having to wait for the hip replacement? You could probably have one tomorrow, here in France.

              I too suffer Big Pain in my crushed and arthritic spine, so I will be very interested in the results of your research. The turmeric wouldn ‘t work for me, as I need to take anti-coagulents to stay alive!. Bon courage, and wishing you all success in your search.


              • The public health system in Queensland is very overcrowded, and it takes years to get to the top of the list if you’re considered non-urgent, which I am right now. Once I actually have bone grinding on bone, I’ll be able to get it done. I *could* get it done privately, but it would cost over $10,000, even with my medical insurance; surgeons and anaesthetists here charge like wounded bulls. We simply don’t have that kind of money… I’ll let you and the Fellowship know what progress I make with my search; if I find something that works, it’s too important to keep it to myself!

                • I had no idea Australia had similar waiting list problems to UK. I’m so sorry. Can you tolerate anti-inflammatory treatments? Unfortunately, I can’t, and after my horrendous experience breaking 3 vertebra 2 years ago, I refuse morphine because of what it does to my brain, so I manage with paracetemol, and a hot wheat bag.

                  • Most anti-inflammatories seem to eat a hole in my stomach, which is tried enough already… Oxycodone makes me sleepy and forgetful and is hugely addictive, but sadly nothing lesser begins to approach the problem. I really can’t face being even less mobile than I already am. Hot packs do help, I agree, but I miss being able to have a nice glass of something (another thing you’re not allowed) while on the narcotics).

                    • True. But then it’s also filled with beauty and wonderful people, which makes up for the stinkiness. I wish I could get you and Jock out here to enjoy some tropical warmth, to stitch and gossip, to trade arthritis tips, and feed you cooking you didn’t have to do yourself!

                    • Oh Viv, you don’t see the grumpy me, where I throw into the corner the thing I have picked up and dropped three times in quick succession, the me that bursts into tears because it’s all too much on top of the pain cranking up sharply before the next dose is due. I’ve turned into a watering can… I don’t believe you’re a drone. You definitely cheer me up!

                    • Let’s make a pact: to cheer each other up.
                      I have that sort of day too, Nil desperandum (don’t let the bastards grind you down) was the motto of my youth club in the dim and distant past!

            • Hi Kate, my Russian friend, N., a survivor of both Soviet brutality and Nazi work camps, is bent almost in half from arthritis and age (90), refuses to take pain medication – she is mentally sharp and determined to remain so – tells me that pure cherry juice works. Not wonders, but well enough.

              • Thank you, Albert. I’ll see if I can get it here, and give it a go! I appreciate you taking the trouble to offer your thoughts.

    • What sort of pain are you talking about on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst? It may be that conventional pain meds are the only thing that will truly help your pain. However, there are doctors that practice” Integrative Medicine”—docs that use more than Western medicine. Here’s a link to a list of them, but I don’t know if this list is Worldwide. I do hope so. Class A pain meds cause such a brain fog. http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/PAG00110/Dr-Weil-Like-Minded-Practitioners.html
      I do hope you are able to sort this out!

      • It varies between 5 and 7 on a daily basis, shooting up to 8 if I have to do something that aggravates it, and the immobility it causes is driving me nuts, I feel as if I’m turning to stone. Thank you for the link, I’ll take a look and see what I can find out.

        • Do look into the Clair Davies book on trigger points. It may help–don’t think the other one will, though a browse in the library wouldn’t hurt!

        • Dear Katechiconi – I tried to cope with debilitating chronic pain from arthritis related to life long Lupus & over 60 orthopedic surgeries. I tried biofeed back without much success & I have friends who are R.N. trained in Healing Touch therapy which seemed claming, but did not relieve pain for any length of time. When I broke my neck & lower back vertebrae in a car accident 10 yrs. ago, I was sent to be evaluated by a pain management specialist who put me on oral Morphine, but I was zoned out all the time & grew tolerant to the high doses over time. I was then tested to see if a surgically implanted pain med pump would be effective. The pump delivers a tiny fraction of MS Contin directly into my spinal cord continuously. Most of the side effects disappeared & my chronic pain has gone from about a constant 7 to a very tolerable 2-3 in the 2 yrs. of using the pump. If you have not been evaluated by a pain management specialist, I think it would be well worth it to get a consultation as they are the most experienced drs. in treating your specific kind of pain. Most pain specialist here in the US start out careers as anesthesiologist and then take several additional yrs. training to become pain specialists. Many of these practioners offer alternative therapies in addition to conventional medicine. Some people usually need a combination of medications/therapies to treat their unique pain issues. There is no harm in educating yourself in non-conventional treatments, but a pain evaluation would be a great place to start & see what they have to offer. Now pain management has become a well recognized part of medicine. Back then I was in so much pain that I did not care about addiction as long as I could live my life with reasonable pain control & function independently. I was fortunate that I responded well to the 2 day trial with the pump and my quality of life improved greatly after it was placed. I have good pain control, no longer felt like a zombie or had to deal with hours of break-through pain waiting until I could take another dose of narcotic. The pump only needs to be refilled every 6 months and a computer is used to adjust the dose as needed. There are also implanted stimulators that block the pain signals from reaching the brain that have been useful for people with significant arthritis. Nerve blocks have been used with success also in treating severe joint pain. I have had 3 knee joint replacements on each knee & I also have Lidocain patches to place on joints when they worse than usual. Everyone in chronic pain has unique issues & should look for a Board Certified Pain Specialist that evaluates their needs thoroughly & explains the pros & cons of all the therapies they can offer. Low doses of Amytriptyline (Elavil) and Gabbapenten (a drug originally used to treat epilepsy). As I am sure you know chronic pain can have negative impact on your heart & can actually rewire the brain if not adequately treated, so I would see about finding a pain specialist & see how they might help you and then ask about what treatments alternative medicine has to offer. Don’t taper from your current meds without medical management as withdrawl requires medical monitoring. I think you are smart to be looking to see what else is out there to improve you pain control & quality of life. The longer you wait for a hip replacement, the better the technology becomes. You don’t want to have it done at too young an age, because then you will have to deal with revision surgeries down the road & prostheses get better & more natural feeling all the time. Best of luck with your search for better pain relief. It does exist.
          can also help with chronic pain.

          • Thank you so much for this great insight. I am nowhere near your level of pain, but it’s no longer responsive to non-narcotic remedies. My GP is helpful and not as obsessed with addiction as many others. A hip replacement would solve 90% of my pain problems, but your point about waiting as long as possible is well made. We live in a community where the nearest pain management team would be a two day drive away, so consulting such a resource presents problems. I’m hoping to come at the pain from another direction and maximise the period before more radical treatment such as yours is required. Thank you so much for sharing your pain journey and these extremely useful pointers for where I might end up in a few years. Kate x

    • I heard Vidyamala Burch speaking on the radio last year. She has sustained two major back injuries and with those chronic pain. She(in conjunction with others) has developed Breathworks – see http://www.breathworks-mindfulness.co.uk I have the book she wrote with Danny Penman called “Mindfulness for Health – a practical guide to relieving pain, reducing stress and restoring wellbeing” A CD of guided meditations came with the book. I find her voice on the meditations very soothing and easy to follow. I notice a considerable difference to all aspects of my self when I use the meditations on a daily basis. It is about making this practice a daily habit in my case…
      Links on Facebook and short sample meditations there and on the website.

      • Another great potential resource, thank you. My main problem with this would be my strong tendency to fall asleep at the most inopportune moments! But I’ll take a look on the website and see what’s what.

        • Her story is gruelling and her management of her pain levels is very encouraging. I think with BIG pain a raft of things might be needed as others have suggested. I do fall asleep at times while meditating but mindfulness has such broad application that the spin-offs are present across all of life. Stitching as you do offers mindful opportunities 🙂 I hope you find a way to greater comfort. Bone grinding on bone is a wretched pain. I wonder if the Aspirin/Arnica cream is available here in NZ? My sore thumb joints would enjoy some relief.

          • I don’t know, but if you can find a sympathetic compounding pharmacist, I can supply a list of ingredients in order of percentage; they may be able to make something up for you.

    • Kate, homeopathy works for some people and not for others… one of the things about it is that there are different remedies depending on different personalities, so the homeopath has to be a skilled one who can work out the right one for you… I think there are something like seven remedies for each problem…

      Have you tried the blood type eating programme it’s called The Eat Right Diet by Doctor Peter d’Adamo .. I have had great success with it, and know several others who have too… also a cleanse to get the toxins out of your system with a naturopath who uses Metagenics I can’t recommend too highly…
      giving up sugar and gluten also helped my arthritis, and I have the use of my hands back…
      there’s lots on the Eat Right blood type diet on Google… good luck..

      • As a lactose intolerant celiac, I would find it very hard to eat right for my type, unfortunately. I looked into it a few years ago, but had to abandon the idea. I am looking at natural health practitioners who offer a range of complementary therapies in order to treat the problem as holistically as possible. Thanks for your advice, I’m very grateful.

  3. Yes, caring what others think, especially our loved ones and friends is incredibly important, and shows love and respect, also incredibly important! xo

  4. Yes, it makes sense. I care what the people I love and respect think. When my own thinking gets muzzy, these same folks can help me get centred again. Being in touch with a loving, supportive group of like-minded people keeps things real and makes this world a good place to live.

  5. I believe that is Poppy and she seems to have a bit of a belly, do you think? Sitting so gracefully in her wallow, enjoying it immensely. Good to see Mr. Flowers came down from on high.

  6. Maybe Alphonsus brought you and Federico together. There must be something to that coincidence. My great great grandmother was Celia!

  7. One of the things we keep telling the kids is that one of the most important things you can do is be nice to others. One reason this is so important is that others do care what you think about them. Humans need to know that others care about them. It would certainly be a lonely existence if we didn’t have people in our lives who care enough about us to be nice to us.

    • I have a sign in my kitchen: “Because Nice Matters!” – because it does.

  8. Really? That was his grandfather’s name? Life really is better than any fiction! Your words ring so true about caring…..

    This week has sucked – and your blog posts have been the brightest thing each day….. nothing bad happened, but you know the sound of gears that are grinding without any lubrication – that is how everything I have been associated with has been going this week. Actually, this month. I think we are clogged with heavy overly wet MUD. you know that kind that is so thick and heavy that it will grab your gumboot and make you step right out of it – so the next thing your know is that your sock is not firmly planted in the mud because you had to put it down else fall into the mud……

    Yea, that’s the week/month I have had….. TGIF……. Pet Boo for me… I’ll feel better knowing he got a little extra love from me through you.

    • one beautifully mudded Sheila. one perfect Godolt and one fantastic Mr Flowers (now down from his higher perch)….. and one piece of writing written with love and feeling…

    • I am so sorry Pat R that you are having such a rough time..I assume that you must be in Texas or in that area… Keep smiling my dear..one day the sun will shine again and all will be well, the mud will not be stuck to your boots, and the trees and plants will grow again. My thoughts are with you all and you are in my prayers

      • YUP, I’m near Fort Worth – horrible flooding here and no end in sight to the rain. We have it in the forecast for the next 10 days…. My vitamin D is getting low!!! (And I love your post name – I may steal it -> Patti (with an I)……;)

        • Your awful floods have been on the news in the uk. Hope you dry up soon and see some sun. I think when it rains for a long time it can really get a person down.

          • The Muck! How horrible.. and endless grey just washes you out doesn’ it. I will give Boo his favourite pat. I soothe him all over his face every so softly with the barest touch of my fingers..I will tell him it is from Pat who is under a cloud presently! Hope it does not last another 10 days.. awful.. c

            • Oh that’s Mirrhi’s favourite pat too…if I put my hand out, she tucks her cheek into it…which fits perfectly …sighs and closes her eyes while I stroke ever so lightly. Funny things 🙂

        • Did you see my post that I wrote about Texas…look at God,s Creatures and you should find it…it was headed Texas and beyond….Patti(with an I) I like it

          • I did… Hard to believe that it has made the news in UK! Wow…. Our forecast has 4 days of Sun next week…. What is that bright thing in the sky!?!?! And that shadow – my i haven’t seen here in forever!

            Thanks for loving in Boo for me. My new adopted baby Chloe (7 year old beagle) got in the bed with me last night and we 3 cuddled – it was good for the soul.

            • Hi Patti(with an I) do you have a blog can you send me its name or a link please

  9. These are very healthy thoughts. Often after I’ve read your posts in the morning, as I go throughout the day, and during those quiet times while throwing scratch to the chickens, feeding horses, walking the pups, driving downtown to work (no radio – I keep the radio off to allow me to meditate), the words from your post or even images from your photos leak into my thoughts and I revisit them. Today’s words are really good ones to revisit. Always love the peacock images too.

  10. I have heard plenty of those “Oh! (whooshes of breath) “ in the past few months as Ireland (the Real one) held a marriage equality referendum. I was rather vocal in support and I notice that several people have dropped from their blogrolls and fb because of my views. Hell I have seen so many lives damaged, destroyed or ended because of bigitory towards the LGBT community. I accept people as they are, we are all unique and that is what makes life so interesting.

    A good question to ask after the above … Is Mr Flowers putting on a display for Sheila? 😉

    Yes there is some good in every day only waiting for us to open our eyes to see it. Have a good day.

  11. I agree with you, Miss C. But, yes, with the caveat that we care what the people who LOVE us think. It’s interesting. It comes up a lot here in Italy, which is a very conformist society. I am trying to give my children a healthy dose of not WORRYING what THOSE people think. Meaning, to be themselves, happily, without worrying what the people think who would judge them superficially. I feel like I grew up in America shielded from those thoughts. My parents were individualists, and so were my grandparents (well, most of them) and so we were raised to not aim toward being like others in order to please them. But, yes, the flip side of that is learning to listen with an open heart to the thoughts of others that are formed with love and concern for you. These thoughts you have to learn to accept and to formulate with love so that they can be accepted. Not always easy. On a silly note, I think the muddy pig does not care what anyone thinks, and I applaud her. I have never NEVER seen such a muddy pig. She looks like she’s been coated in chocolate. I love her. Tell her what I think is: Well done!

    • I agree with you and MissC and I could not have said it better. One of the positive aspects of getting older is that you don’t care what other people think but I do care about what my family and good friends think.

  12. I agree with all the comments, I mind what people think, especially my loved ones . Glad to see mr flowers has come down from the tree! X

  13. Interesting topic. Oddly, most folks only care about what acquaintances and strangers think, but not family. I guess it is often because we know they are stuck with us and vise versa?

  14. I love this post! Hits home these days. I appreciate your wise words. Wish I could wallow in some mud!!!

  15. This is beautiful. I think you are a very generous soul, given all you share with us, known to you or strangers. Thank you.

  16. There have been times when I cared TOO much about what other people think, but that has leveled out with age. I’ve come to embrace that living with care and caring is an important part of who I am. Wise words about that today, miss c. Thank you.

  17. I feel so bad for Kate who is suffering so. I wish I knew something–anything about homeopathy, but I don’t.
    I love the contrast between the wallowing pig and the next shot of pristine Godot. Very fun. Gore Vidal said it doesn’t matter what others think of you. What does matter is what you think of them! Hmmm.

    • I read a quote once that said – instead of looking for the right person BE that person.. kind of off the subject a little.. have I said this before? c

  18. I feel like I’ve entered Act 2 Scene 3, and missed all of Scene 2. There’s something about this post that caused me to stop and wonder if you’re okay. Are you?

      • That answer is so open-ended that a universe could fall through it. (big hug) Try to aim for that “perfectly okay” without becoming overwhelmed with the journey, c. I shall keep you secure in my thoughts until then.

  19. My dear Celi, This post is relavatory of your large, large heart. Two things have come to mind: first of all, I’m now going to have to read all the comments because I’m certain that your gang is as heartfelt as you are. Second is that I am sharing with you what is dearest to my heart, the Baha’i Faith. I’ve been a Baha’i for 50 years now and I have to tell you that I was a “hard sell”. 

    Much love,Gayle in sunny Sacramento, California 


    • Thank you Gayle. I am glad you have found a way and a place to be. That is just lovely. love c .ps often your comments come with screeds of advertising – I delete these for you as i am sure you don’t mean to leave these in the lounge of comments. much love..

  20. caring enough about your loved ones and showing it by making improvements in your life is a splendid goal. also I adore your pig photos…..todays first image would actually be a lovely painting. Seriously. Have a lovely day with Alphonsus and his Grandson!

  21. Love the Gore Vidal quote! Ha
    But bieng sweet & kind is really all that matters, then you know you’ve done your job as a human.
    Kate…try some super beet juice, turmeric, arnica (both in pills & ointment) I think arnica is my favorite. my phone screws up…. (Internet) and sometimes I’m unable to read some of the comments so I’m kind of guessing that you have arthritis? I don’t know if anyone has mentioned Accupuncture but I tell you what it works! And don’t be afraid of it, it can help with your pain and transitioning to homeopathic remedies, without horrible side effects. Good luck with this 🙂

    • Thank you, Robin. Yes, it’s arthritis, and I’m already a huge arnica fan, and everyone is saying turmeric, so I guess planting some in the garden will be the next step, since I can grow it so easily here. I’ve not had a great deal of success with acupuncture in the past when I tried it for other issues, but perhaps I should give it a second chance…

      • Kate, I’m a bit late to comment.
        But could you please look into “bone broth” if you are not yet doing it.It is powerful for the regeneration process of joints and has lots of amino acids that people with autoimmune conditions are usually lacking.You might want to check drkayladaniel.com or draxe.com.Not pain reducing but maybe helping not getting worse.Hope something will help you soon.love.Isabel

        • Another great suggestion to Google. Thank you so much. I like the idea of treating the root cause rather than the symptoms, as well. Appreciate it!

  22. Listen to the quiet. Hear the double click of a woman from CA clicking on to this site. Be still so you can hear her inner cry when she sees Sheila, beloved pet of more than Celi, and her cry inside like Marlon Brando cried, “Stella,” except she is crying, “S h e I l a,” in an almost moan of joy tone. This site lowers my blood pressure; viritual living ain’t so bad after all; best to all.

  23. ” Oh! (whoosh of breath) “I don’t care what people think! I just am what I am – etc and etc – take it or leave it, rinse and repeat.. blah, blah, blah”….. is all rather selfish, don’t you think? I do agree with what others have said here, that with many I don’t give a hoot, but then there are family and friends who I do care very much what they think. We must all do what we know to be important, regardless whose feathers get ruffled, but generally speaking kindness will top it all 🙂
    Kate, dear one, I too wish I could wash over you a feeling of well-being. It has been a long time since I could run up and down stairs or even go on a short shopping trip without a lot of left-over pain. I wish I could recommend something new to you but I don’t yet know what it is. Best remedy I know is prayer, for us and by us…. so I will add you to my prayers.
    Sheila doesn’t give a hoot what anyone thinks of her muddy pursuits — hehehe
    I hope your day is bright and wonderful ~ Mame

    • I have already received a wave of goodwill from the Fellowship, which is as good as a feeling as wellbeing. Not being able to stand, bend, walk, kneel or turn without pain does get wearing. Not being able to do so many things I enjoy and slowly becoming more and more immobile is depressing. Knowing that other people give a damn is encouraging. Thank you for the prayers. Who knows, they may be the most efficacious in the end. But I’m going to try throwing everything at it. With luck, something might turn the key…

      • Kate, I just looked at the Nutritional Healing book and it DOES bear looking at for arthritis. You could start with what it deems essential (which is quite a few things, but I thought that when nothing worked for my rosacea) and go from there. Book is available on internet and suggests diet as well as supplements. If you want more info, drop a line at my blog. I hope some of the advice you got works!!!!

          • Do–I’ve found it effective for some things. You may also have muscular pain caused by your adjustments to the arthritis–and that’s where the Trigger Point Workbook would help. It sounds as though it’s bad enough to have pain compounded by other pain. Good luck with your researches!

            • [12 hours after my last comment at some 10 am in Australia] . . . putting ‘my nose in’ for the last time – I am certain Kate’s is mostly muscular readjustment pain . . . this is why I think relaxation and meditation are SO important [love Deepak Chopra’s tapes for that!!] . . . AND nutrition as you say. One does not have to go overboard on turmeric: just keep a container of ‘dry’ on your kitchen bench and sprinkle it on most savoury things to eat. Hardly any taste or anything objectionable!!! Hope you are taking plenty of fish oil, D3 and I could not live without my CoQ10 🙂 !! With arthritis you HAVE to exercise thru’ the pain: at least walk . . . . I have brought my pain levels down from about 8-9 to 6-7 [unless I am stupid and force myself into the garden for 3/24 straight] thru’ the years and one soon learns to live with that. [When I get ‘mad’ I just tell it to ‘f . . . off !]I break the ‘pain barrier’ for a day or two every few months by taking normal amounts of Panadeine [not ‘forte’] for a day or two. Best of British!!!!

              • Dear Eha, thank you so much for your thoughts. Xrays, nuclear medicine and bone scans confirm that I have bone degeneration pretty much everywhere, so I’m confident this is not a muscular issue. Sadly, I long ago went past the point where Panadeine does anything at all. Without medication I cannot move or sleep, and it takes all my will power not to sit and scream quietly, I can’t breathe properly, I can’t eat and the poor Husband bears the brunt of my very, very short fuse. Narcotics make life endurable, but the breakthrough pain period before I can take the next dose is getting longer, which is why I’m hoping to find something that’ll tackle it from a different direction.

            • You’ll be happy to hear I’ve just ordered it from Amazon! I’ll be very happy to give it a try and if it even merely improves matters rather than fixes them, it’ll have been worth it. Thank you for pointing me at this.

              • and let us all know too – living with pain seems to be something you and many of The Fellowship are dealing with – and pain management is exactly that, any change will take some time to show its colours .. I hope you are on the list for that hip replacement at least.. hopefully this will alleviate some of it.. c

                • Not yet on the list, I fear. It’s very, very painful, but the damage isn’t – apparently – critical enough yet… They require something organic, not just severe pain. I have some hopes of the book, I must say, and I will of course let people know how I get along. xxx

  24. This is a very interesting post. It’s taken me awhile after reading to comment. Sometimes I don’t. I care about what people think of me. Always felling a little less than and frightened of being on the outside looking in. I am slow to trust until I know your heart. But those that are closest to my heart are the only people who’s opinion of me really matters. I care most what they think of me. The fact that my children, now grown, love and cherish me, means I have made a success of my life. Nothing else matters. I care what you think too. To be honorable and kind in every exchange we make. I want to be the person my dog thought I was. Kind to all life. I would value an animals trust more than some humans. I’m not sure if that’s the direction you were going with this thought but that’s where it led me. I love stopping by here each day for my barnyard fix. I could hug and squeeze everyone of your lovely creatures there. You work so very, very hard but I envy you gently. I’m glad Alphonsus stays with you and the connection to Federico is unmistakable. He’s almost an Angel himself.

  25. Fantastic idea both Kate & Celi putting it out there to The Fellowship. I’m impressed (and informed) by the response. But it’s the true caring that really blows me away. All the heartfelt comments about caring, what people think, homeopathy, natural remedies, pain… reinforce that it’s the motivation and the nature of the source that matters. Real & genuine caring matters. I think the other word I’m looking for, the flipside, the antipathy of caring is meddling. When people meddle it’s about them not you. It doesn’t necessarily stop you caring about them, but it gives you perspective about what they think, what they say, and what they do… which being meddlers may not necessarily each be the same thing.
    And I just love today’s pics. They are magic. Poppy’s muddy face… bliss!

  26. This is a lovely post and so true. And there is something infinitely calming about the pictures of your animals. Thanks for sitting down to post every day!

        • You did catch my plea, and acted upon it right away! You are so amazing. Thank you so much, dear Celi! I’m sorry to have bothered you – the sole purpose of my comment was to point Kate to Ellen’s input (which at that time was the only comment without an answer from Kate), but now I see that in the interim Kate has replied to Ellen… I was late, rendering my own thoughts/comment redundant/obsolete. All the better!
          I do wish you an all-out lovely day, Celi. Thanks, nuri

  27. One final thought about caring about what people think. My mother was an eccentric, loud, outspoken person with an outsize personality, and occasionally as a child I would cringe slightly when she was putting her personality about. She’d always say: the people who mind don’t matter, and the people who matter don’t mind. We need to take care of the people who matter to us. If we are decent people, that list will grow and grow the longer we live. In the end, we love and take care of the whole world.

  28. Copied and pasted into this space for nuri as the thread is getting too thin.
    From Nuri: I am so sorry and send you my sincere pain-killing vibes (if only that would work, the “Fellowship” would have cured you by now…). Your pain level being that bad (6-7-8! worthy of a torture chamber!), all the time, I do think “Ellen in Oregon”‘s opinion/advice above (quite a bit above) is rock solid and evidence-based (did you see it?). Dependence (addiction? sorry about my English) is not an issue with a pump, nor is that degree of drowsiness. You must know that, by now, unfortunately, you don’t “just” have to beat the pain but also your body’s Pain Memory. Pain Management 101: Pain “peaks” between administrations of pain medication are entirely counter-productive and lead to a need for increased doses…. … If I were in your shoes, I would not take the “trial-and-error” route, not at this point. I’d get that pain under control first (finally!) (see Ellen’s comment), reboot, and – very important – let my body forget about all the pain it has suffered. And then go from there…
    Best wishes to you, Brave Lady! nuri (who becomes ‘rabid’ from certain forms of pain)

  29. How interesting to find out there was another Alphonsus! I hadn’t heard the name until you wrote of it. Mr. Flowers really struts his stuff! Don’t worry Godot, your tail will be quite handsome one day. “Someone” is enjoying her puddle!

  30. Sorry to be so late reading this.. and what a lot to read!! This post was timely for me. I actually just deleted the very first blog post I wrote because I did not wish to hurt my next-door neighbor’s feelings. Years ago there had been problems between us and there had been heated conversation and even an altercation between him and my husband – which I wrote about in my very first blog post. But, ever since Daisy deer came along, both parties softened and through over the fence conversations I came to understand why my neighbor was the way he was (he suffers from chronic depression). And, I also had a better understanding of why he was upset with us – and he truly had reason to be (we used chemical in some areas of our property to eradicate poison ivy back then). Just yesterday I emailed photos of Daisy and her babies to him and he mentioned he would love to see more if I had the time. I shared my blog address with him because I felt he would enjoy it. And even though I was proud of my writing in that first post, my friend meant more to me. It does matter what we say and how we present ourselves. We should care what others think. It is all about kindness and love. 🙂

    How is it you always seem to write about something I need to hear most? You must be intuitive!

  31. Oh Cecilia you are such a beautiful person. I love what you have written here and it has helped me because having resigned from the fantastic job at the nursing home after being treated unfairly I have been feeling so dejected and rejected and unappreciated and stresssssed! Finally beginning to calm down after being so shaken. Your blog is so soothing and hopeful and encouraging. Lots of love to you and many thanks xxx

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