You know how people say _(and I hear this all the time) Oh! (whoosh of breath) “I don’t care what people think! I just am what I am – etc and etc – take it or leave it, rinse and repeat.. blah, blah, blah”. I tilt my head and look carefully when I hear this. Bravado is so transparent.
But I think we ALL care what our loved ones think, I do,I will be honest – I care what you think and this is a good thing, I say to my children – if you cannot sit down and tell me what you have done then think about it again. You need to care what I think. You need to care enough about yourself to care what I think. Because I care about you.
Oh, I don’t mean the Fashion Police and the PC People and the Haters and Mean Spirited Do Gooders. That is shallow stuff. Who cares what THEY think. I mean us. US. The good people in your life. The real ones. Now, this does not mean that I write so you can approve of my writing or agree with what I think. No, no, not that.
I mean, that if you love someone or respect someone or appreciate someone, it is OK to care about what they think and to improve and raise your game – and extend yourself so you can think better of yourself and when they smile and nod – it is Ok to Smile BIG and nod back BIG and love that you care what they think.
I do care what you think. Because you are good. I care what good people think.
Does that make sense?
I hope you have a lovely day. This is my mantra, my wish and my promise. That we all have lovely moments in our days. And that we care.
Love your friend on the farm. Alphonsus sends his love – (Federico just told me his grandfather’s name was Alphonsus.. wheels within wheels).
Love, love,
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
134 responses to “I care what you think”
” Oh! (whoosh of breath) “I don’t care what people think! I just am what I am – etc and etc – take it or leave it, rinse and repeat.. blah, blah, blah”….. is all rather selfish, don’t you think? I do agree with what others have said here, that with many I don’t give a hoot, but then there are family and friends who I do care very much what they think. We must all do what we know to be important, regardless whose feathers get ruffled, but generally speaking kindness will top it all 🙂
Kate, dear one, I too wish I could wash over you a feeling of well-being. It has been a long time since I could run up and down stairs or even go on a short shopping trip without a lot of left-over pain. I wish I could recommend something new to you but I don’t yet know what it is. Best remedy I know is prayer, for us and by us…. so I will add you to my prayers.
Sheila doesn’t give a hoot what anyone thinks of her muddy pursuits — hehehe
I hope your day is bright and wonderful ~ Mame
I have already received a wave of goodwill from the Fellowship, which is as good as a feeling as wellbeing. Not being able to stand, bend, walk, kneel or turn without pain does get wearing. Not being able to do so many things I enjoy and slowly becoming more and more immobile is depressing. Knowing that other people give a damn is encouraging. Thank you for the prayers. Who knows, they may be the most efficacious in the end. But I’m going to try throwing everything at it. With luck, something might turn the key…
Kate, I just looked at the Nutritional Healing book and it DOES bear looking at for arthritis. You could start with what it deems essential (which is quite a few things, but I thought that when nothing worked for my rosacea) and go from there. Book is available on internet and suggests diet as well as supplements. If you want more info, drop a line at my blog. I hope some of the advice you got works!!!!
Thanks, I’l definitely take a look!
Do–I’ve found it effective for some things. You may also have muscular pain caused by your adjustments to the arthritis–and that’s where the Trigger Point Workbook would help. It sounds as though it’s bad enough to have pain compounded by other pain. Good luck with your researches!
[12 hours after my last comment at some 10 am in Australia] . . . putting ‘my nose in’ for the last time – I am certain Kate’s is mostly muscular readjustment pain . . . this is why I think relaxation and meditation are SO important [love Deepak Chopra’s tapes for that!!] . . . AND nutrition as you say. One does not have to go overboard on turmeric: just keep a container of ‘dry’ on your kitchen bench and sprinkle it on most savoury things to eat. Hardly any taste or anything objectionable!!! Hope you are taking plenty of fish oil, D3 and I could not live without my CoQ10 🙂 !! With arthritis you HAVE to exercise thru’ the pain: at least walk . . . . I have brought my pain levels down from about 8-9 to 6-7 [unless I am stupid and force myself into the garden for 3/24 straight] thru’ the years and one soon learns to live with that. [When I get ‘mad’ I just tell it to ‘f . . . off !]I break the ‘pain barrier’ for a day or two every few months by taking normal amounts of Panadeine [not ‘forte’] for a day or two. Best of British!!!!
Dear Eha, thank you so much for your thoughts. Xrays, nuclear medicine and bone scans confirm that I have bone degeneration pretty much everywhere, so I’m confident this is not a muscular issue. Sadly, I long ago went past the point where Panadeine does anything at all. Without medication I cannot move or sleep, and it takes all my will power not to sit and scream quietly, I can’t breathe properly, I can’t eat and the poor Husband bears the brunt of my very, very short fuse. Narcotics make life endurable, but the breakthrough pain period before I can take the next dose is getting longer, which is why I’m hoping to find something that’ll tackle it from a different direction.
You’ll be happy to hear I’ve just ordered it from Amazon! I’ll be very happy to give it a try and if it even merely improves matters rather than fixes them, it’ll have been worth it. Thank you for pointing me at this.
and let us all know too – living with pain seems to be something you and many of The Fellowship are dealing with – and pain management is exactly that, any change will take some time to show its colours .. I hope you are on the list for that hip replacement at least.. hopefully this will alleviate some of it.. c
Not yet on the list, I fear. It’s very, very painful, but the damage isn’t – apparently – critical enough yet… They require something organic, not just severe pain. I have some hopes of the book, I must say, and I will of course let people know how I get along. xxx
Good luck. I hope it helps.
This is a very interesting post. It’s taken me awhile after reading to comment. Sometimes I don’t. I care about what people think of me. Always felling a little less than and frightened of being on the outside looking in. I am slow to trust until I know your heart. But those that are closest to my heart are the only people who’s opinion of me really matters. I care most what they think of me. The fact that my children, now grown, love and cherish me, means I have made a success of my life. Nothing else matters. I care what you think too. To be honorable and kind in every exchange we make. I want to be the person my dog thought I was. Kind to all life. I would value an animals trust more than some humans. I’m not sure if that’s the direction you were going with this thought but that’s where it led me. I love stopping by here each day for my barnyard fix. I could hug and squeeze everyone of your lovely creatures there. You work so very, very hard but I envy you gently. I’m glad Alphonsus stays with you and the connection to Federico is unmistakable. He’s almost an Angel himself.
What a lovely comment. and yes He is almost an angel – c
Fantastic idea both Kate & Celi putting it out there to The Fellowship. I’m impressed (and informed) by the response. But it’s the true caring that really blows me away. All the heartfelt comments about caring, what people think, homeopathy, natural remedies, pain… reinforce that it’s the motivation and the nature of the source that matters. Real & genuine caring matters. I think the other word I’m looking for, the flipside, the antipathy of caring is meddling. When people meddle it’s about them not you. It doesn’t necessarily stop you caring about them, but it gives you perspective about what they think, what they say, and what they do… which being meddlers may not necessarily each be the same thing.
And I just love today’s pics. They are magic. Poppy’s muddy face… bliss!
This is a lovely post and so true. And there is something infinitely calming about the pictures of your animals. Thanks for sitting down to post every day!
Thank you Celia. Just thank you from my heart
God bless you
Isabel
All my love darling girl.. c
I shall go in and check – I can copy and paste it below for you ?
You did catch my plea, and acted upon it right away! You are so amazing. Thank you so much, dear Celi! I’m sorry to have bothered you – the sole purpose of my comment was to point Kate to Ellen’s input (which at that time was the only comment without an answer from Kate), but now I see that in the interim Kate has replied to Ellen… I was late, rendering my own thoughts/comment redundant/obsolete. All the better!
I do wish you an all-out lovely day, Celi. Thanks, nuri
You are most welcome nuri.. have a lovely day. c
Your thoughts can never be obsolete – they are part of the thread of the fellowship of the farmy.. c
What an excellent deconstruction of an often used and little understood sentiment. You’re absolutely right!
One final thought about caring about what people think. My mother was an eccentric, loud, outspoken person with an outsize personality, and occasionally as a child I would cringe slightly when she was putting her personality about. She’d always say: the people who mind don’t matter, and the people who matter don’t mind. We need to take care of the people who matter to us. If we are decent people, that list will grow and grow the longer we live. In the end, we love and take care of the whole world.
Love this post as well as the photos! Such important words.
Copied and pasted into this space for nuri as the thread is getting too thin.
From Nuri: I am so sorry and send you my sincere pain-killing vibes (if only that would work, the “Fellowship” would have cured you by now…). Your pain level being that bad (6-7-8! worthy of a torture chamber!), all the time, I do think “Ellen in Oregon”‘s opinion/advice above (quite a bit above) is rock solid and evidence-based (did you see it?). Dependence (addiction? sorry about my English) is not an issue with a pump, nor is that degree of drowsiness. You must know that, by now, unfortunately, you don’t “just” have to beat the pain but also your body’s Pain Memory. Pain Management 101: Pain “peaks” between administrations of pain medication are entirely counter-productive and lead to a need for increased doses…. … If I were in your shoes, I would not take the “trial-and-error” route, not at this point. I’d get that pain under control first (finally!) (see Ellen’s comment), reboot, and – very important – let my body forget about all the pain it has suffered. And then go from there…
Best wishes to you, Brave Lady! nuri (who becomes ‘rabid’ from certain forms of pain)
How interesting to find out there was another Alphonsus! I hadn’t heard the name until you wrote of it. Mr. Flowers really struts his stuff! Don’t worry Godot, your tail will be quite handsome one day. “Someone” is enjoying her puddle!
Sorry to be so late reading this.. and what a lot to read!! This post was timely for me. I actually just deleted the very first blog post I wrote because I did not wish to hurt my next-door neighbor’s feelings. Years ago there had been problems between us and there had been heated conversation and even an altercation between him and my husband – which I wrote about in my very first blog post. But, ever since Daisy deer came along, both parties softened and through over the fence conversations I came to understand why my neighbor was the way he was (he suffers from chronic depression). And, I also had a better understanding of why he was upset with us – and he truly had reason to be (we used chemical in some areas of our property to eradicate poison ivy back then). Just yesterday I emailed photos of Daisy and her babies to him and he mentioned he would love to see more if I had the time. I shared my blog address with him because I felt he would enjoy it. And even though I was proud of my writing in that first post, my friend meant more to me. It does matter what we say and how we present ourselves. We should care what others think. It is all about kindness and love. 🙂
How is it you always seem to write about something I need to hear most? You must be intuitive!
Angels!.. c
Oh Cecilia you are such a beautiful person. I love what you have written here and it has helped me because having resigned from the fantastic job at the nursing home after being treated unfairly I have been feeling so dejected and rejected and unappreciated and stresssssed! Finally beginning to calm down after being so shaken. Your blog is so soothing and hopeful and encouraging. Lots of love to you and many thanks xxx
My father used to say “Don’t let the bastards get you down.” Hard to always follow I know. But DON’T LET THE BASTATDS GET YOU DOWN!.. .. c