I have spent much of the last four days in airports and planes and cars, (mercy America is a big country) helping out John’s Mum who needed assistance to come back home to Illinois from California after a fall.
Due to hold ups and time changes I feel like most of that travel was in a state of sleeplessness and I arrived home on Sunday shattered. Yesterday was a very physical, hard day getting the barn cleaned up after my absence and getting the pigs up to date. The nicest part was working with John’s mum getting her settled back in her own home.
At the farm: fences had failed and gates had been broken, waters had been depleted and it had been wet the whole time I was away so there was mud tracked all through the house from the dogs and someone’s boots so even the clean up in the house took ages. All the animals had been fed and watered with buckets so all was well in that department. They were ok. And the hard labour was a good thing after all that stuffy flying and hotels and travel. It is tangible and satisfying to work hard.
Also, another section of John’s family is on their way to live here too, and will arrive in a few days, a very young little family in trouble so there is much to do to prepare for their arrival. The poverty line is a dangerous place in the United States and the boy is right to come home. But this arrival brings difficulty and troubles and anxiety that are not my own, nor of my making and out of my control.
I have lots of food in the freezer though so no-one will go hungry.
But I don’t really want to write about John’s family here in my farm journal – this blog is about the farm.
But all these things are clamouring for attention. Re-settling John’s Mum and dealing with the rehab from her fall will be the easiest to assimilate into my routine.
Dealing with the family dynamics of your spouses broken home is more difficult. Tension and unrest are building. Anyway – that is not your business. Nor mine actually. Our business together is the farm and we will remain focused on that.
But this is how I feel. (See LOUD bellowing calf below).
And that is OK. No-one has to be feeling good or even doing particularly well all the time. In fact no one person can. We are all a little broken. All a little damaged. The body is made up of soft tissue and soft emotions. Humans are incredibly badly designed actually – with a self-destruct button very close to the surface. Some people are more broken than others and more susceptible to causing breaks than others and as they slowly self-destruct the shrapnel burrows into the organisms who are close by. Some seek to break people on purpose, some damage others by mistake and never notice. We must all be gentle, gentle and as forgiving of them as we can. But, be sensible, build a good shield and wear a life jacket. 
Kindness is prized. But forgiveness and mercy and kindness are not the easiest path by any means. Put your own oxygen mask on before seeking to help others.
I warned you last week that I may not be able to blog every day over this period. Please heed this and don’t be worried. Being pressured to blog defeats its purpose.
I have a lot to do at the moment, though I will not speak of any of this family stuff again nor discuss it in comments.This is a farm journal. A farm blog. Our safe place. And in a month it will be a travel blog. That is something to look forward to.
Today after other chores I am going to try and fix these gates. Gates are not my best. Tima that fattie broke one of them, it was her interior door, and so late yesterday afternoon, that I had to leave her and Tane out in the tin shed for the night. So that is the one I will fix first.
Then I will have to work on picking a pig house up with the tractor and getting it through the mud and into the vegetable garden for Molly. Her babies have to be weaned and I am still waiting on another gate being fixed over at the West barn so I can shift Poppy over there and put Molly in with Sheila. (Plans within plans within plans) But that is one gate I cannot fix myself. So Molly will need to go into temporary quarters away from her babies.
I hope you have a lovely day.
Celi
WEATHER: Strong Nor’west winds – moving swiftly down past freezing.
Tuesday 11/21 10% / 0 inA mix of clouds and sun in the morning followed by cloudy skies during the afternoon. Morning high of 45F with temps falling to near freezing. Winds WNW at 15 to 25 mph. Winds could occasionally gust over 40 mph.
Tuesday Night 11/21 0% / 0 inClear skies. Low 23F. Winds NW at 10 to 15 mph.
The Kitchen's Garden 
74 responses to “Solemn Cows”
You must be glad to be home and no doubt John’s mum is too – I hope she mends soon.
I love the bellowing calf!
It was a lucky shot that calf – that is Inky.
Cartier Bresson would say it was the, “Decisive moment” 😉
I see your weather pattern…..brrrr! Is it normal for y’all to be 23 in November? (maybe you are in Montana after all :))
Good to hear your voice again.
We do get cold pretty fast as a rule. By thanksgiving it is usually wintry. but some years it is warm (ish) right to December.
And you have to water some/ all of your animals by hand with buckets? Or do you just not have the winter hoses set up yet?
I have hoses – but in the morning I take warm water to the outside pigs. When it is very cold the faucets will not turn on – so hoses are useless anyway
You are very sweet to your pigs. Ours just have to make due with warm-ish water from the water heaters. We just make sure the water fonts are full and the water heaters keep them from freezing. They DO, however, get warm oatmeal in the mornings (and sometimes at night if it’s going to be a cold windy night). They LOVE that and honk with delight to see us coming their way with a bucket.
Yes! Mine too. It soaks all night – another good way to get water into them. Wish I could get water heaters down there but usually I have no pigs in the fields by now- they are normally all sold. This year is slow.
Ours are slow to sell too! We have 4 left to sell when usually we are done by early fall. No one seems interested in the “best pork in the world” this year. We might just have to purchase another freezer 😦
Sigh
Keep wearing that lippy!
Excellent advice! Thank you Jean!!
This paragraph deserves a writing award! I wish I had one to give you.
Humans are incredibly badly designed actually – with a self-destruct button very close to the surface. Some people are more broken than others and more susceptible to causing breaks than others. and as they slowly self-destruct the shrapnel burrows into the organisms who are close by. Some seek to break people on purpose, some damage others by mistake and never notice. We must all be gentle, gentle and as forgiving of them as we can. But build a good shield and wear a life jacket. Be sensible.
Morning Lacey! C
I, too, love this paragraph. Every word is true.
yes
Yes, beautifully written, and so very true. ❤
I’m glad you’re OK and safely home. The Farmy and the Fellowship have both missed you but my word, you’ve been busy! Good luck with the fence building and piggy family moving…
I hear that calf, load and clear. A great observation about the design of humans.
Wise and beautiful. Your words and you. Sending much love.
What Tanya said!! xo
smiles
Take a deep breath in and let it out slowly 🙂 Laura
“And that is OK. No-one has to be feeling good or even doing particularly well all the time.” Nothing truer has ever been said. The only thing that really matters is that we care about the life we are living.
I’m glad the pigs are still being naughty. Life on the farm wouldn’t be quite right if a pig wasn’t causing some kind of mischief.
This was in my inbox– sharing: May your coffee be strong enough to help you through anything thrown at you today. But if not, remember you must not throw your cup at anyone… you need it for refills!!
If those smart pigs could learn to repair what they break 🙂
Beautiful words, we are all so fragile. I am on the farm in Germany. A rainy cold day here in northern Germany.
Best to you Miss C along with a small hug. Those babies are growing by leaps and bounds!
That image of Inky is priceless! I wish so much I could bring Forrest with me to help you with those gates (and fencing). He’s an excellent carpenter too… kind of a jack-of-all-trades kind of fella. I keep hoping he and I can drive up to visit sometime and lend some helping hands. You’ve got yours full at the moment!
In spite of a little breakage and a little damage, you are building fences with gates instead of walls. You are made of stern stuff with a self destruct button buried deep within. While the armor you wear is fragile, you have the ability to see the important details, and the wisdom to keep your eyes along the skyline. Still, the entire fellowship wishes to give you a warm hug.
I like the idea of “building fences with gates instead of walls.” So much hard earned wisdom there.
Sending good thoughts. You are smart and sensible and kind and I’m very sure things will work out. Life does have its way with us though, despite our attempts at control (ha!) Reminds us that we all need to stay flexible and put on our life jacket for sure!